Food for Thought
Here’s a list I just received of some interesting items. Most might already be widely known, if not all of them, but they still made me smile. Read on.
_Why the sun lightens
our hair, but darkens our skin?_
_Why women can’t put on
mascara with their mouth closed?_
_Why you don’t ever see
the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery”?_
_Why “abbreviated”
is such a long word?_
_Why Doctors call what
they do “practice”?_
_Why you have to click
on “Start” to stop Windows 98?_
_Why lemon juice
is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real
lemons?_
_Why the man who invests
all your money is called a “Broker”?_
_Why there isn’t mouse
flavored cat food?_
_Who tastes dog food
when it has a “new & improved” flavor?_
_Why Noah didn’t swat
those two mosquitoes?_
_Why they sterilize the
needle for lethal injections?_
_Why they don’t make
the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?_
_Why sheep don’t shrink
when it rains?_
_Why they are called
apartments when they are all stuck together?_
_If con is the opposite
of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?_
_Why they call the
airport “the terminal” if flying is so safe?_
_AND…_
_In case you need
further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some
actual label instructions on consumer goods:_
_On a Myer hairdryer:_
_-”Do not use
while sleeping”._
_(Darn, and that’s the
only time I have to work on my hair)._
_On a bag of Chips:_
_-“You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside�._
_(The shoplifter
special?)_
_On a bar of Palmolive
soap:_
_-”Directions: Use
like regular soap”._
_(And that would be
how???)_
_On some frozen
dinners:_
_-”Serving
suggestion: Defrost”._
_(But, it’s just a
suggestion)._
_On Nanna’s Tiramisu
dessert (printed on bottom):_
_\- “Do not turn
upside down”._
_(Well…duh, a bit
late, huh)!_
_On Marks & Spencer
Bread Pudding:_
_-”Product will be
hot after heating”._
_(And you
thought????…)_
_On packaging for a
K-Mart iron:_
_“Do not iron
clothes on body”._
_(But wouldn’t this
save me more time?)_
_On Boot’s Children
Cough Medicine:_
_“Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this medication”._
_(We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year
olds with head colds off those forklifts.)_
_On Nytol Sleep Aid:_
_“Warning: May
cause drowsiness”._
_(And…I’m taking this
because???)_
_On most brands of
Christmas lights:_
_“For indoor or
outdoor use only”._
_(As opposed
to…what?)_
_On a Japanese food
processor:_
_“Not to be used
for the other use”._
_(Now, somebody out
there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)_
_On Nobby’s peanuts:_
_“Warning:
contains nuts”._
_(Talk about a news
flash!)_
_On an American
Airlines packet of nuts:_
_“Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts”._
_(Step 3: maybe,
uh…fly Delta?)_
_On a Swedish chainsaw:_
_“Do not attempt
to stop chain with your hands or genitals”._
_(Was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)_
_* I don’t blame
the company, I blame the parents for this one:_
_On a child’s superman
costume:_
_“Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly”._
_Now that you’ve smiled
at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone
you want to bring a smile to (maybe even_
_a chuckle)…in other
words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while._
I hope it made you smile too :)