Thank to AkuAku SF: IKEA walk-thru I just found The Non-Expert: IKEA, being a walk through of IKEA. What is a walk-through?

That’s gaming lingo or a short text to tell you how to go about a game to win. Now, you can survive IKEA, thanks to the IKEA walk-through.

_

[…]

=============================================================

OBJECTIVE

=============================================================

Your goal is to successfully traverse the five awesome worlds of IKEA before your patience runs out. On your first few tries this may seem like an impossible task, but with practice (and this IKEA Walkthrough!) you will soon be able to muster the sense of numb resignation necessary for victory.

[…]

=============================================================

WORLD TWO: SHOWROOMS

=============================================================

You start this world armed only with a UNIVERSAL FURNITURE-ASSEMBLY ALLEN WRENCH. This is the weakest weapon in IKEA: You will have to hit a person 16 times with it to kill them. So your primary goal in this level is to find more lethal means of dispatching your enemies.

As you enter the SHOWROOM, perform a rolling dodge to the left. Grab a free PAPER TAPE MEASURE and a handful of IKEA EMBLAZONED GOLF PENCILS from the kiosk near the entryway. The PENCILS serve quite well as ranged weapons, but it will take some time to master their use. Before venturing further in the world, stand at the kiosk and practice hurling GOLF PENCILS at patrons as they enter the SHOWROOM. Remember: Hitting the eyes does triple damage.

[…]

=============================================================

WORLD FIVE: CHECKOUT

=============================================================

This is it. The matchup between you and the final boss: IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad. But unlike traditional adventures, this ultimate showdown is not one of violence (much as, at this point, you’d like it to be), but rather a battle of will and endurance. If your PATIENCE is already running low, you are unlikely to finish this world. But this is what you’ll need to do to survive.

First push your cart into the CHECKOUT line. Now stand there and wait. Continue to wait. If the person in front of you moves forward, you should move forward as well. And then wait. The key to CHECKOUT — and I cannot emphasize this enough — is to wait._

Oliver Thylmann’s Musings

An IKEA walk-thru